By Jim Mendrinos, Political Comedian

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about politics and how this whole government thing works. Here’s what I’ve come up with, Beauty contests have more integrity, and kindergarten elections are better organized than the average political election. 

Think about it. The kiddies all line up, vote one at a time, and the winner is announced that day. How long did it take to seat Franken? If you want to be homeroom president, you have to be a member of that homeroom. Billy can’t transfer from 201 to 105 just because it looks like an easier election.

And the rules were set. If the homeroom president transferred schools there was no rush to change the rules so that the teacher could appoint another representative. Not every class needed to be represented; they could wait for the special election.            

Beauty Pageants are run more like our elections. We have a representative who votes for us—kind of like the Electoral College. In this case we trust our fate to David Hasselhoff. Sure the women are surgically enhanced. The answers are rehearsed, and that dress stays in place because of duct tape and prayer, but how is that different from our own electoral process?            

We elect the best shiny object. We are marveled by the suit and smile, so we don’t even care that there’s no substance. At least in the kindergarten election they had a platform – more naps and tastier paste. What did we get promised? Hope and Change?            

Even the 5 year old knows you gotta give ‘em more than that.            

It is our fault really. We get 6 years to realize that out Senator is a jerk, but at least he’s our jerk so we give him another 6 years. There are plenty of congressmen who won this election only because we remembered they won the last election. Are we too lazy to vote them out of office?            

Look, at least with the beauty contest we get a little show. If it’s all going to be about who looks the best in the suit can I get a fashion show while Ryan Seacrest tells us about the contestants. “Charlie Rangel enjoys long walks to the ethics investigation committee and voting along the Democratic Party line…”            

And just like a beauty contest winner we look at a picture in the paper – say about 8 & ½ months later – and think “wow, this is the winner? They looked so much better on election day.”            

So if you want to vote wisely, do like the tikes are doing, vote for the naps and paste, at the end of the day at least we know those things are real.  

**Jim Mendrinos is a New York City based comedian, author and pundit. He is a frequent guest on FoxNews.com’s Strategy Room. Visit him at http://www.republicancomic.com/, www.twitter.com/jimmendrinos, or write him at GOPlaughs@gmail.com for his schedule and show information. You can also see Jim as part of the NYC Underground Comedy Festival, October 2 – 11, and 16 & 17 in NYC. Write Jim for tickets and details.